11.12.2009 00:36:59

clare

As the cold winter months set in I find myself dreading the cold, the shoveling, and the layers and layers of clothing that make me feel like a stuffed sausage. The winter routine is so long and ritualistic that it can easily make a person lose their passion and drive. Don’t get me wrong I love the peaceful evenings when the snow is falling, the pellet stove is burning brightly and my family is settled in for a long winter’s night. As adults it is just far too easy to get lost in the patterns set by life. What is it that snaps us out of our rut and allows us to grab a hold of life again? For me it is having something to look forward to such as a walk or lunch with a friend, a special occasion to celebrate, a vacation or down time with my family that puts the bounce back in my step.

Young people can also become unsatisfied, and bored with the patterns in their lives. A typical day might include waking up for school, riding the bus, going to classes, doing homework, and going to bed…only to begin again the next day. They need something to look forward to, something that will help them remember their passion and drive. For most youth that something is found in youth programs whether it be the arts, sports, clubs, or organizations. As they look ahead to the big game, opening night, or a 4-H event, they come alive. Youth Programs, Asset 18 of Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring and responsible, help to put the spark back in young people’s lives.

If a youth program is full of the 40 Developmental Assets it is the best place youth can go to build and strengthen a lot of assets at one time. In asset rich programs, youth are given the opportunity to form relationships with caring adults and role models, and are encouraged to contribute in meaningful ways through serving others. In addition youth programs should be safe havens where they feel safe from ridicule, violence or bullying. In asset-rich youth programs, young people meet friends who model responsible behaviors and share similar interests. The promotion of positive values, social competencies, and positive identity should be the foundation upon which all youth programs are be built.

According to Search Institute, about 57 percent of young people, ages 11–18, spend three or more hours a week in youth programs. These youth benefit by having higher self-esteems, better leadership skills, and are less likely to feel lonely than those youth not participating in programs. What about the other 43 percent of youth who are not participating? Talk with them about their interests. What do they like to do? What would they like to try? Together research and identify youth programs, teams, clubs or organizations in your area that match their interests. There are many wonderful youth programs out there just waiting for you to find them. Don’t wait, make the call today…it could transform a young person’s life.

This blog post was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Coalition Asset Coordinator.

Assets

21.04.2009 01:51:43

clare

Are youth today thriving and successful? The answer depends on how you measure success. In today’s society the metric of youth success is often thought of as high achievement test scores, or athletic accomplishments. I challenge these measures and say that although they are important there is something critical missing.

Most of us at one time or another has paused to ask ourselves if we are on the right road. Are we spending our time in meaningful ways which allow us to contribute with a passion and purpose?  If our answer is no, there can be a feeling of regret for having spent far too long running in the wrong direction. For those who are spending their time meaningfully there is a sense of thriving, wholeness and happiness that can be felt by all who know them.

Youth ask themselves the same questions. They also struggle to find their purpose. Far too often we hear young people say things like, “you don’t understand, you never listen.” Translated those words mean, “you do not see ME for who I am inside”. Our society has done a great job of filling our young people up with rules, values, academics and social skills but we have forgotten to pull out what already exists within them. Simply said we have forgotten to ask them, “What is your breath?” What is it that makes you feel alive, that makes you shine, and gives you purpose?

According to Search Institute, the activities that make us feel alive are called SPARKS. Sparks come in many forms including writing poetry, dancing, drawing, helping others, sculpting, reading, taking photographs, playing an instrument, or singing, just to name a few. According to Search Institute 55% of youth surveyed said their spark came from the creative life. Unfortunately, far too few young people spend three or more hours each week in lessons or practice in music, theater, or other arts. Only 19% of youth surveyed have asset #17, Creative Activities, in their lives.

The solution is not as simple as it sounds. Enhancing existing arts programs or adding additional programs into communities is only one piece of the puzzle. The second, even more important piece is for adults to be able to recognize the spark that already exists within youth and pull it out of them. When a coach, teacher, neighbor, parent, youth worker or pastor takes the time to tell a young person that they see something in them that is positive, and useful to the world, barriers break. Suddenly youth feel “SEEN”.

In recent years we have become so proficient at viewing youth through a lens of deficits and problems that we struggle to see their potential. The change from deficit thinking to naming, and seeing their spark is critical. All youth have a spark within them but far too many are waiting for caring adults to help them identify what it is. Young people who are lucky enough to know their spark, need three or more adults who see them for what they bring to the world in order to keep their fire lit.

Can you see what ignites a child by looking in their eyes? Are there clues to tell us when youth are thriving? If only it were that easy. As adults we must take the time to help youth learn their heart song, and hum it to them every day as loudly as we can as a reminder of the good, beautiful and unique gifts they bring to the world.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

Assets

14.04.2009 00:05:13

clare

I remember a time when my hopes and dreams consisted of such things as being a professional ice-skater, a teacher and a break-dancer. I spent hours fostering these dreams whether it was practicing my spin on the ice, lining up stuffed animals to teach or moon walking until my legs hurt. I was sure my big break was imminent. I would like to say my confidence at the age of five was a character trait but the truth is that a great deal of it came from the hope the adults in my life held for me. They believed in my dreams as odd and unrealistic as they may have seemed to them at the time. Even more than believing in my dreams they took the time to bring me to the ice-skating rink, provided me the tools I needed to instruct a class full of stuffed animals and spent countless hours watching Michael Jackson videos to learn all the moves with me. It is this kind of encouragement that made me believe not only in all of those dreams but in my potential as an individual.

Young people today have dreams and hopes of their own. Ask a young person in your life about their dreams, encourage them to pursue them and set high but reasonable expectations to help them reach their goals. High Expectations, Asset 16, of Search Institute’s 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring, and responsible.

Research shows that young people have higher self-esteem, try harder, and do better in school when they have adults who hold out high hopes for them in their lives. Discuss with youth your hopes and expectations for their lives.  You may not see eye to eye but it is important to let them know you believe they are capable of great things. I can assure you my break-dancing dream was not shared by the adults in my life but they supported me unconditionally. I eventually grew out of my desire to bust a move although probably not fast enough as we lived for years with a family pet named Michael “Brandon” Jackson.

The reality of my story is that I never became any of the hopes or dreams I mentioned. I have put my ice skating, teaching and dancing skills to use at various times throughout my journey but they have not been my destination. I consider those skills and the adults who had high hopes for them a blessing.  For with the passing of the years I realize that having not had adults who believed, I too would have lost the ability to hope, and dream. It is in support that we find the courage to step out unafraid and reach as far and wide as our imaginations will take us. Let a child open your imagination and you could be the believer that makes their dreams happen. 

To learn more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Coalition Project Assistant.

Assets

06.02.2009 23:22:31

clare

“When there are friends, there is wealth” according to a Southwestern Spanish proverb. How true that is not only for adults but for youth. Young people’s choices, attitudes and behaviors are often influenced by the friends they surround themselves with. Search Institute asked youth in a national survey if their best friends model responsible behavior, are a good influence on them, do well in school and do not participate in risky behaviors such as underage drinking or drug use. You may be surprised to learn that sixty percent of youth surveyed said they had asset 15, Positive Peer Influence in their lives.

We often think of peer influence only as a negative influence. In fact the good choices friends make can be even more influential than poor choices. Take a stroll down memory lane and think back to the friends you had as a teenager. Was there someone you admired and respected, someone who was always there in good times and bad, and who went to bat for you no matter the situation? For many, these friendships have continued into adulthood. They are positive, nurturing and supportive.

Unfortunately alongside the great friendships there were probably friends who were not supportive, who pressured you to participate in risky behaviors or were just plain mean. Why did you choose to spend time with people who made you feel so badly? How could you possibly have benefited from their friendship? As crazy as it may sound friendships such as these allow youth the opportunity to explore and learn about their world, themselves and the people around them. The pain of these relationships often teaches youth to treat others as they want to be treated.

As parents we often try to shield our children from making what we perceive will be poor choices with friends. It is natural to want to protect them from the pain of being made fun of, unaccepted or pressured into making poor choices. Before we begin our selection process for our children we must consider the valuable lessons we may be taking away from them, lessons all young people deserve to explore on their own. This is not to say adults should do nothing. In fact there is a lot we can do to guide our children to positive friendships. We can begin by modeling responsible relationships ourselves. Talk with young people about others behaviors both appropriate and inappropriate and be involved in their lives. In time youth will begin to see that friends who act, talk and think in positive ways will bring out the best in them.

To learn more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Coalition Project Assistant.

Your comments to this or other articles are welcomed and can be made without registering for the site. If you would like to write a new blog entry, simply go back to the home page and register with the site. You will then be able to make your entry.

Assets

29.01.2009 22:28:18

clare

Did you ever get the feeling you were being watched? That your every move was being scrutinized and studied? Probably not as most of us go throughout our days on fast forward not thinking much about the immense responsibility we carry in every word, action, and choice we make. Every day in every way, youth’s eyes are upon you. They watch as you peacefully resolve a disagreement with a friend, how you show empathy to someone in need, how you chose to spend your time engaged in productive and meaningful activities, and how you keep a level head at times of crisis. Young people are searching for everyday heroes, people who model behavior that is not just appropriate but makes others feel respected, loved and needed. Young people see you, especially if you’re a parent, as the kind of person they want to become. Take a moment to think about your choices…are they the kind of choices you want for your own child?

Inevitably those behaviors will come back to visit in the words and actions of the youth whose lives you have the honor of being a part of. In the past week with the historic swearing in of then President elect Barack Obama, much has been said about personal responsibility for ones actions and the need for change. As a Country there seems to be a general feeling that it is time to get back to basics and remember the values that unite us regardless of race, religion or socioeconomic background. Having adults in our communities who model honesty, integrity, respect for others, hard work ethic, empathy, service to others and compassion for human kind is the first step in this big word “change” that has fueled President Obama’s entire campaign.

According to Search Institute surveys, only 27% of young people between the ages of 11-18 say their parents or other adults model positive, responsible behavior, asset # 14 of the 40 Developmental Assets. There is a disconnect between what many well intentioned adults are modeling and what youth perceive. For far too many youth there may simply be a lack of adult presence in their lives. It is difficult to discuss adult role models when their simply is no or very little adult presence in their lives. As for the remainder of youth, their eyes have been watching us even when we thought they weren’t. It is our responsibility to show young people that although we do make mistakes we work hard to be the best we can be. When you could have been kinder, chosen better words or simply made a better choice talk with the young person in your life about ways you could have made better decisions. Being a role model is not about being perfect it is about being real and open when you make a mistake and always trying to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do.

Everyone needs role models for they help us to dream, plan, set goals and look at our personal future in a more positive light. Role models give us the courage through the way in which they live their lives to reach beyond our personal limits. If every youth in your life could have 3 or more positive adult role models change would happen. It may not be the type of change that puts food on the table in a time of economic hardship such as this but it will give us hope when the mere idea of hope is almost too much to wish for. It gives us heroes at a time when so many people need someone to believe in. It is the kind of change which occurs one word, one smile, one hug and one choice at a time that can transform lives both young and old. Youth are watching…will you be a part of the change?

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

Your comments to this or other articles are welcomed and can be made without registering for the site. If you would like to write a new blog entry, simply go back to the home page and register with the site. You will then be able to make your entry.

Assets

28.01.2009 01:54:37

clare

Do you remember a time when neighbors left their doors unlocked, shared meals and sat on their front porch swings sharing stories, and laughter? A time when not much went unnoticed whether it was who came for dinner Tuesday night or what time your teenager got home from his date. I suppose one could argue that they were nosey neighbors, I beg to differ. What these neighbors provided each other was safety, security and support.

Our world today is vastly different for many reasons. Our time is stretched so thin that front porch talks have been replaced by a quick text or an e-mail. For many the few hours they have at home are spent inside catching up on housework, bills, or watching TV. Not only are neighbors not spending time together but many do not even know each others names. What we have lost are neighborhoods that are connected and a sense of community responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior. There was a security for adults and youth when neighbors looked out for each others safety.

When Search Institute began asking why neighbors no longer took responsibility for monitoring young people’s behavior, the most consistent response was fear. They were afraid of youth, and the reaction of parents. Fear, apathy, and the pure busyness of life have frayed the string of connection that neighbors once had. How then can we rebuild the relationships and strengthen the ties that bind neighborhoods together? It is easy! You do not have to be a community organizer to create a community where neighbors look out for each other. Start by getting to know the people who live near you including adults and youth. Plan a neighborhood activity such as a potluck dinner or neighborhood clean up day. Talk with parents about the boundaries they would like for the young people in the neighborhood.

Research shows that when youth live in neighborhoods in which adults take responsibility for monitoring their behavior, youth focus more energy on positive activities. According to Search Institute, forty-seven percent of youth, ages 11-18, say they have Neighborhood Boundaries, asset # 13 of the 40 Developmental Assets.

It takes more than a family to raise children, it takes caring adults and neighbors. In the words of Hillary Rodham Clinton, “There’s no such thing as other people’s children.” All kids are our kids. It is our responsibility and honor to be role models for young people, to guide them in their choices and to set appropriate boundaries and expectations. What a powerful role you can play in the lives of not only youth in your neighborhood but their parents as well. Hang onto the fray of string that remains in your neighborhood and weave a pattern of hope, connection and responsibility in the lives of all who call you a neighbor.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

Your comments to this or other articles are welcomed and can be made without registering for the site. If you would like to write a new blog entry, simply go back to the home page and register with the site. You will then be able to make your entry.

Assets

13.01.2009 20:59:10

clare

The first step in creating boundaries and expectations for youth begins at home when they are toddlers but what happens as they get older and enter into their communities? In a perfect world youth would find that the rules and norms within the broader context of community were very similar to those they were already familiar with such as respect for others, underage drinking is unacceptable, and conflict should be resolved peacefully. Unfortunately this is not the case and as a result youth are left feeling confused by the mixed signals and unsure of how to make appropriate choices.

Effective boundary and expectation setting requires a team of systems all working together to spread redundant messages to youth about what is appropriate and inappropriate. Far too often families, schools, organizations, and neighborhoods do not work together and as a result youth are sent unclear or inconsistent messages.The consequences of these messages may include disrespect for adults, violence, vandalism, prejudice, and disregard for the rights of others, just to name a few.

Every day youth face tough choices. Without a clear set of well defined boundaries to guide them they lack the confidence to be able to make healthy choices. These choices become more defined as the child enters school. According to Search Institute national surveys, fifty-two percent of young people ages 11-18 say their schools provide clear rules and consequences. Youth who attend schools with reinforced School Boundaries, asset #12 of the 40 Developmental Assets, are more likely to display positive behaviors and attitudes rather than engage in risky behaviors. Knowing the expectations and consequences for such things as absences, homework, and bullying provides youth the information necessary to make positive choices. A school where youth know, understand and respect the rules and consequences is a place where learning takes precedence.

Setting standards and reinforcing them in schools is not always easy. Appropriate discipline and effective consequences is sometimes a struggle in a classroom of 25 students. It is a balancing act in which school administrators, parents, and students play important roles. It is critical that families and educators work together to ensure youth know what the expectations for behavior are. Teachers and administrations can help by allowing youth to be involved in the creation of a “school code of ethics” and sending it home for parents to read. The process of working with their school to create rules and consequences allows youth to feel ownership and a sense of community. Parents can help by understanding and enforcing the school rules. When parents and educators join forces youth feel confident in their knowledge of what to expect.

Often times the intent of setting boundaries is to deter negative behavior. Perhaps it is time to create a new lens that focuses on a commitment to positive choices rather than the avoidance of negative ones. Invite youth to commit to healthy choices and lifestyles that contribute to personal, social and community well being. When we focus on the positive we get positive outcomes. Expect your child to be their best, to reach higher than they think they can. This combination of high expectations and clear, consistent, creative and confident boundaries affords youth the confidence to venture out into the world with a passion, purpose and strength that will lead them to success.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

IMPORTANT: If you would like to write a response to this or any other blog, you must first register on the ASAP website (go back to the home page). Once you have registered, you can create an entry. After you have finished and saved the entry, it will be sent to ASAP staff for review and then posted once reviewed (within 2 days of posting). We encourage your participation and responses.

ASAP Staff

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

Assets

30.12.2008 19:11:11

clare

Boundaries, rules and consequences…who needs them? We all do or our lives would be utter chaos. Not only do we need them but according to a recent nationwide survey of more than 218, 000 students in grades 6-12, youth want them. Fifty three percent of youth surveyed said they either have enough or too much freedom, thirty-five percent think it is okay for parents to block violent or offensive content on TV and thirty percent want restrictions on their Internet access. As surprising as that may seem youth are looking for clear rules and consequences.

According to the Search Institute, the establishment of boundaries begins at home, Family Boundaries, Asset #10, of the 40 Developmental Assets. When families work together to create clear, concise, consistent, and developmentally appropriate expectations, youth feel a sense of ownership in the decision making process. This affords them the opportunity to question the rules that seem unreasonable and suggest consequences that seem fair. The process of working together as a family to create a “code of ethics” is just as important as the code itself. It brings families together in a positive, healthy, and productive way.

The boundaries set by families should be brief and to the point. It is much easier to find loop-holes in complicated and confusing rules. The complication leads to arguments, and confusion. When parents/guardians work together to support and uphold the boundaries and consequences the entire family benefits. This support of each other speaks louder than words in the ears of youth.

A common mistake many families make when creating a “code of ethics” is they create expectations that are not age appropriate for the youth in their lives. A seven year old should have a different set of expectations than a seventeen year old. Too often, especially for very young children our expectations are set beyond what they are capable of meeting. This leads to frustration for both the child and adult. However there are universal in-bound and out-of-bound expectations that all adults can model and expect from their children regardless of their age. In-bound behaviors are the actions that are positive and healthy including respect for people, kindness and honesty. Out-of-bounds behaviors are those that your family “code of ethics” list as unacceptable and may include violent behavior or foul language. The earlier we instill these expectations at home, the greater success our children will have as they enter the community, schools and neighborhoods where boundaries are already in place.

Although youth long for guidelines, there is sometimes a gap in what they want to do and what parents will allow. The majority of disagreements during the teenage years occur because of this freedom gap. Talk to your child about the direct connection between freedom and trust. The more youth keep their promises, are honest, think before they act and keep parents updated on their lives the more parents are apt to extend additional freedoms. Freedom is something that is earned but when it has been earned, reward it.

It takes time, effort and energy to be firm and consistent with your children but the consequences of haphazard boundaries is much more labor intensive for us all. Take the time, make a difference in your child’s life by creating a family “code of ethics” that everyone will be proud of, that everyone can call their own.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

IMPORTANT: If you would like to write a response to this or any other blog, you must first register on the ASAP website (go back to the home page). Once you have registered, you can create an entry. After you have finished and saved the entry, it will be sent to ASAP staff for review and then posted once reviewed (within 2 days of posting). We encourage your participation and responses.

ASAP Staff

Assets

23.12.2008 14:33:12

clare

Living in Northern Maine we rarely think about high crime rates, unsafe neighborhoods or communities. We have the blessing of living in an area where we feel relatively safe. This feeling of safety affords us a confidence and security that we often take fore granted until that security is violated. The violation causes us to feel angry, and betrayed. Situations where we feel threatened or unsafe trigger a “fight or flight” mechanism in our bodies where we physically tense up, our hearts race, and we make a choice to fight or flee the situation for survival. At times such as this our thinking may become irrational and we struggle to make appropriate choices. For youth whose lives are filled with fear, the “flight or flight” scenario may be a daily occurrence. For these young people the survival of daily life takes all the energy they have. They often do poorly in school, have few connections with adults or peers and appear pessimistic about their future. The fear in their lives has taken over their ability to think rationally or show the world who they really are.

Although fear can not be entirely avoided, as it is a normal part of healthy childhood development, adults can work to create environments in our homes, schools, and communities where people are respected and valued, where fear is minimized and the opportunity to take healthy risks are maximized. When a toddler fears monsters under their bed or being alone in the dark validate their fear by getting a night light or using “monster spray” to get rid of all the unwanted creatures. When teenagers fear social situations, violence or failure role play behaviors that will allow them to feel confident. Talk to young people about upsetting or frightening events they may have heard about or seen on TV. Becoming aware of our own body language or behaviors is important as youth sense our insecurities about the dangers in the world. Surround youth with caring, loving adults that they can go to in times of need.

Safety at school, at home and in their communities, Asset # 10 of the 40 Developmental Assets, allows youth to feel empowered in a sometimes scary world. The feeling of empowerment enables youth to try new things, and contribute to their communities in healthy and positive ways. Youth who feel safe are more relaxed, open, confident and creative. They dare to dream big and venture forth in the world towards their goals with confidence and strength.

Through believing in the safety of their environments youth will begin to recognize the truth in what Franklin D. Roosevelt said so many years ago, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” The possibilities in fearlessness are endless, the dreams so much larger and the world so much richer.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

IMPORTANT: If you would like to write a response to this or any other blog, you must first register on the ASAP website (go back to the home page). Once you have registered, you can create an entry. After you have finished and saved the entry, it will be sent to ASAP staff for review and then posted once reviewed (within 2 days of posting). We encourage your participation and responses.

ASAP Staff

Assets

12.12.2008 23:10:17

clare

You can not turn on the TV these days without hearing about the tough economic times we are currently experiencing in this Country including job loses, and high foreclosure rates. As the holidays approach many families are facing the reality that wish lists may remain unfulfilled and the cost of travel may impede them from being together. It would be easy to feel angry, disappointed or that we somehow failed ourselves and those we love by not being able to grant their wishes. In reality it is in times like this that we actually gain more blessings than we have lost. This is not to say that tough economic times are easy but they do demand a reevaluation of what is important, what is necessary and they remind us that there is always someone else in need of a helping hand. When we are left with little monetarily, wishes become good health, laughter, time spent with family/friends, food on the table and a roof over our heads. It is the relationships and connections we offer to others that are our true “gifts”.

As young people in your life begin to compile their wish list it is a perfect opportunity to talk about the blessings they already have in their lives and how many people may not be as lucky. Ask them what they might do to reach out and help those less fortunate not only at the holidays but throughout the year. For many youth the world is small and consists of school, home and their neighborhood. When adults create opportunities for service, young people’s world begins to grow as well as their confidence. According to the Search Institute, Service to Others, is asset #9 of the 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring and responsible.

Mohammed Ali once said that “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth”. The most effective way to teach youth the value of helping others is to model the behavior. Providing a meal to an elderly neighbor, visit or call someone who can not leave their home, or volunteer your time to an organization that you feel passionate about. Young people are watching your every move and they will be able to sense the joy you feel as you reach out a helping hand to those in need. Offer to join forces with your child to make a difference in the lives of others.

According to Search Institute youth who serve in their community one hour or more a week said they gained satisfaction from helping others, learned to understand people who are different than them, became more patient, kind and developed leadership skills. By giving of their time and energy, many young people felt they received more in return. It is through the spirit of giving with our hearts that we receive more than we could hope for.

As the holiday stresses mount it is my hope that you reevaluate what it means to give or get the “perfect gift”. What will make the difference in our lives can not be bought or sold it must be felt by the heart. Wrap up your unconditional love, support, and kindness and place it under the tree this year. It is the most life changing, thoughtful, priceless gift you can give.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

IMPORTANT: If you would like to write a response to this or any other blog, you must first register on the ASAP website (go back to the home page). Once you have registered, you can create an entry. After you have finished and saved the entry, it will be sent to ASAP staff for review and then posted once reviewed (within 2 days of posting). We encourage your participation and responses.

ASAP Staff

Assets

05.12.2008 22:09:43

clare

If you look up the word “resource” in the dictionary it is defined as something that can be turned to for support. What would our community structure look like if we were to define youth as a resource from which we could gain useful skills and knowledge? Perhaps we would see youth present at city council or school board meetings, planning and leading community programs and/or having active roles in civic groups.

What would it take for adults to step aside so youth can take the directors chair?

First we must understand why giving youth a voice to express ideas, and insights benefits communities, organizations, adults and youth. A community that has developed a generation of future leaders who are skilled, experienced and passionate will gain motivation and a new energy that will help build community spirit. Organizations with youth participating are often able to create a new vision and fresh ideas. What a gift it would be if youth could lessen the burden adults’ face in a fast paced and demanding world by working side by side with them at home, at school, or in the community. Intergenerational relationships of this kind are connections youth and adults so desperately need in their lives and create opportunities far beyond the activity in which they are participating. Youth develop new skills and gain leadership experience but even more importantly their involvement boosts their self-esteem and broadens their future career choices.

Giving youth meaningful roles means more than allowing them to serve on a community committee. It entails valuing young people’s unique ideas, interests, skills, talents, and opinions. It involves tearing down the walls of hierarchy that currently exits in which adults know best, youth know some, and children are too young to contribute. Through our new lens youth are the coaches, not just the athlete. Unfortunately, according to Search Institute surveys, only about 1 in 4 youth said their community uses Youth as Resources, asset # 8 of the 40 Developmental Assets. The great news is that by investing in the commitment to involve youth, youth in turn will begin to contribute to our communities, schools, and families in meaningful and thoughtful ways.

Empowering youth begins at home by allowing your child to plan a family meal from choosing the recipe, shopping for the ingredients to making the meal. Give your child a voice and vote in family decisions. In school youth become empowered by adults who challenge them to set high goals, who put youth in charge of planning school events, and who train them to be peer mediators. Community organizations can simply add a youth presence and voice to current programs or committees.

As the idea of allowing youth to have an active voice in their communities is considered I ask that you think back to a time when you were involved in a project that tapped into your talents and allowed you to have a valued input in the decisions that were made? How did that make you feel? Were you energized, optimistic, empowered? Did you feel passion for the project because of the meaningful role you played? If the answer is yes (which I suspect it will be) then it is our responsibility as adults to pass this feeling of empowerment onto the young people in our lives for the feeling of making a difference makes all the difference for us all.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

Assets

25.11.2008 11:50:16

clare

When a crisis or tragedy hits the headlines we often ask ourselves, what is happening to our youth? Discussions about the breakdown of the family or the increase in violence on television occur but rarely do we discuss the culture within the communities in which youth are raised. Much like a parent/guardian, communities help shape, nurture and raise our children. Furthermore, the culture within the community sets the tone for how youth see themselves within a broader context. Are their voices being heard, do we ask for their input, do we view them as gifts that will help carry us into the future?

Unfortunately, in our current culture many youth do not know any adults outside their own family, they are nameless faces in their own neighborhoods, recipients of well-intentioned “programs” without any input in their content or design, unsupervised for too many hours each day, and excluded from the community decision making process.

This is not to say communities are not trying to make a difference in young people’s lives. Despite the often heroic efforts of educators, parents, youth workers and social service agencies only 22 percent of young people, ages 11-18, perceive that adults in their community value their opinions and input according to Search Institute surveys.

Taking a look at the disconnect between what communities are trying to provide youth and what youth actually perceive is the first step in creating a much needed cultural change. Search Institute has identified Community Values Youth as asset # 7 of the 40 Developmental Assets, the values, experiences, and qualities that help kids succeed.

The types of changes it would take to envelop ALL youth, regardless of their backgrounds, skills, abilities, socioeconomic status, race/ethnicity, or other differences into supportive, attentive, and caring communities, are not difficult or even time consuming? The promotion of healthy communities demands new vocabularies, new insight, and a new lens through which we see youth. No longer should our language be about “fixing” young people’s problems instead we must become proficient at naming their strengths, and talents. We must shift our energy from “at risk” youth to all youth for the reality is that all young people need as many of the 40 Developmental Assets as we can provide. We must work to create opportunities for intergenerational relationships including youth bonding with multiple adults, and adolescents bonding with younger children. Imagine what a gift it would be if every six year old had at least one fifteen year old who took an interest in them, played with them and treated them as though they were important.

Our present culture is a formula for disaster for we define youth as lacking knowledge, skills or useful capacities and in turn they are dismissed as too young, or too irresponsible to be involved in our communities. This has created a generation of young people who think of themselves as useless, and it has deprived them of the experiences necessary to become a responsible contributor. Furthermore at the age of eighteen we place great expectations on these same youth to make substantial contributions without having provided them the knowledge base to do so. Change is necessary and begins with the individuals within our communities. I invite youth and adults, parents/guardians, neighbors, professionals, and everyday citizens to be the change we so desperately need.

With the spirit of community that already exists in the lives of us all and the intentional shift toward cultural change we will begin the venture toward a hopeful journey that will inevitably shift the energy from deficient communities to thriving communities.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

IMPORTANT: If you would like to write a response to this or any other blog, you must first register on the ASAP website (go back to the home page). Once you have registered, you can create an entry. After you have finished and saved the entry, it will be sent to ASAP staff for review and then posted once reviewed (within 2 days of posting). We encourage your participation and responses.

ASAP Staff

Assets

24.10.2008 19:36:15

clare

Stop! Take a moment to think back to your childhood. Can you name three or more adults (besides your parents) that you could go to for advice and support? Maybe it was a grandparent, a club leader, a neighbor, an aunt/uncle, a coach, a friend’s parents, a bus driver, someone in your congregation, or a teacher. What was it about those individuals that made you turn to them for advice, comfort and understanding? Perhaps they were trustworthy, listened to your stories, took an interest in what interested you, included you in conversations, laughed at your jokes, or helped you take a stand, then stood with you. Whatever it was that fostered that relationship, I am sure you can see the importance of their influence in your life.

As adults it is your turn to honor those special people who touched your heart and transformed your life by sharing the gift they gave you so many years ago. The beauty of this gift is it costs nothing, takes very little time or effort and yields truly amazing results. In recent years, Duke University compiled information regarding youth-adult relationships. Three interesting finding arose from their research. First, supportive relationships with non-parental adults create a protective barrier against risk behaviors such as alcohol, tobacco, and illicit drug use. Second, the longer the relationships lasts the more influential the adults seem to be in a young person’s life. Lastly, youth benefit from more than one caring adult.

According to Search Institute, the importance of Other Adult Relationships, Asset # 3 of the 40 Developmental Assets, cannot be overstated. This type of intergenerational, non-parental relationship was once natural in communities. Neighbors shared meals together, grandparents sat on porch swings and told stories of their lives, and friends sipped lemonade in their back yards while their children ran barefoot through a garden sprinkler. Today our lives seem to be on fast forward, times with family and friends never seem long enough, the connections we once knew are hurried and weak. If we are going to create the kind of connected and sustainable relationships all youth need to succeed we must become intentional in our efforts. Intentionally create an atmosphere where elders are allowed to become teachers, guides and mentors, learn the names of youth in your community, hire a young person to work for you, share your talents, send a card…most importantly be there as a rock in good times and bad.

The intentionality I speak of is clearly shown in a public service announcement that aired in Kansas. It is the story of a young boy who waited at the school bus stop in front of an elderly women’s house. Everyday, she stood at the front window of her home and watched as he got on the bus. She waved and smiled but the two never spoke. Somehow in their silent exchanges the boy felt safe knowing she was watching. The women and boy never had the chance to meet, but to this day, he can’t pass that house without thinking about the powerful, quiet influence that woman had in his life.

Have you looked out your window lately? Who is beyond the curtain hoping for the same security that little boy felt?

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Coalition Project Assistant.

IMPORTANT: If you would like to write a response to this or any other blog, you must first register on the ASAP website (go back to the home page). Once you have registered, you can create an entry. After you have finished and saved the entry, it will be sent to ASAP staff for review and then posted once reviewed (within 2 days of posting). We encourage your participation and responses.

ASAP Staff

Assets

22.10.2008 21:23:08

clare

Say it isn’t so…only 26 % of youth surveyed throughout the United States said they have Positive Family Communication, Support Asset #2 of the 40 Developmental Assets, the qualities, experiences, and relationships that help young people grow up healthy, caring and responsible. 74% of youth surveyed did not feel they could go to their parents/guardians for advice and support, did not have frequent in-depth conversations with their parents/guardians about a variety of topics –including serious issues and did not feel their parents/guardians were approachable and available when they wanted to talk.

The all too familiar conversation may look something like this: your child’s upset, you’re tired, and the conversation heats into an argument which ends when a door slams then silence. What if we were able to create an atmosphere of open communication within our homes – would the doors open instead of slam?

There are a variety of invisible closed doors all around us. Doors we build when we are preoccupied and don’t pay enough attention to our children, doors we create when we jump to conclusions before our child says anything, and doors we create when we criticize youth for what they tell us. With the building of each of these invisible doors youth begin to feel fearful of sharing or resentful of the reaction. Eventually youth back away from having conversations all together.

Real open door family communication means having an open mind, attitude and heart, listening to understand not to advocate your position, and being available when your children need you – and when they don’t. Though it can be challenging to develop the skills, being available for frequent, in-depth conversations is an important role we play in our children’s lives – from the time they learn to talk all the way into adulthood.

According to Dr. Daniel G. Bagboy, “When we communicate, we are telling others who we are, and we are asking others who they are.” Bagby suggests in conversations with your child reveal yourself by honestly telling them your thoughts, ideas, goals and feelings, jump in and begin the conversation-don’t wait for them to talk first, be responsible by taking control of your thoughts, feelings and actions, don’t blame or shame others for your behavior, take responsibility for your actions and be human by sharing your weaknesses in addition to your strengths to develop trust and closeness.

According to the Search Institute, this type of open door, Positive Family Communication, is essential for the healthy development of children and youth. So whether your home is one of the 26% who already has an open door or you are among the many who hear the door shut too many times, it is never too late to be intentional in turning the handle and walking into a new world of communication for yourself and your child.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

Assets

22.10.2008 21:22:00

clare

Marge Kennedy once said, “In truth a family is what you make it. It is made strong, not by the number of heads counted at the dinner table, but by the rituals you help family members create, by the memories you share, by the commitment of time, caring, and love you show to one another, and by the hopes for the future you have as individuals and as a unit”.

The type of support Mrs. Kennedy speaks of is, for many, provided first by our family, and later by peers, teachers, and other adults. According to Search Institute, who listed Family Support as Asset #1 of the 40 Developmental Assets, there is a strong relationship between effective family support and positive childhood outcomes, particularly higher academic achievement, healthy peer relationships, effective family communication, positive behavioral adjustment, and better mental health.

There are many variations of family including biological, extended, foster families, guardians etc… Regardless of how people have come together, the word "family" implies warmth, a place where the feelings of the heart are nurtured, where security and support act as a buffer against external problems. Families grow and move through life together, inseparable in the heart.

The good news is that according to a national Search Institute survey, 64% of the youth surveyed felt they had Family Support in their lives. What about the other 36% of youth? How can parents/guardians make them feel loved and supported? The other piece of good news is it’s easy! Hug them or say, “I love you,” don’t assume they know how much you love them. Pay attention to them, listen to them, and take an interest in what they’re doing. Let your love for them show in the way you look at them, the words you say, your tone of voice, and your body language. Make it a point to be sure they hear your message of love and support loud and clear at all times. Develop openness so that the children in your family know that you’re available and you’ll love them—no matter what.

If Marge Kennedy was correct in her statement “A family is what you make it” than you as a parent/guardian have the influence to shape your child’s life. Youth are longing for the kinds of rituals, connections, memories, love and support only a family can provide.

“Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

Assets

02.10.2008 23:38:33

clare

Kasserian ingera? Is a traditional greeting of the Masai people of Kenya and Tanzania. Instead of saying “How are you?” they greet with “How are the children?” The typical response is, “Sapati ingera” (“All the children are well”). What would your response be? Perhaps some of the children are well? Is that good enough?

The question of why some kids have a fairly easy time growing up, while others struggle, why some get involved in dangerous activities, while others lead productive lives and why some beat the odds and others get trapped are usually answered by focusing on problems such as poor choices due to socioeconomic status, lack of supportive families, or being surrounded by bad influences. What if we decided to look for other answers –answers that would tell us how kids prevail, not fail.

The Search Institute in Minneapolis did just that when developing what are now called the 40 Developmental Assets. Their approach to answering the questions became upbeat, optimistic, hopeful, they highlighted what was right with youth. What they found was that assets protect and empower youth and their effects are cumulative. That means the more assets a youth has, the less likely they are to struggle and more likely they are to succeed in life.

The 40 Developmental Assets are grouped into two main types: External and Internal. The external assets are the good things youth need in their life and include: Support, Empowerment, Boundaries and Expectations, and Constructive Use of Time. They are the positive developmental experiences provided to all youth by communities including families, schools, neighborhoods, organizations, religious institutions, government, health care, law enforcement, civic groups, community foundations, businesses, and media. A strong community of caring adults—providing support, empowerment, boundaries and expectations, and opportunities for enriching activities—helps young people develop skills they need to succeed.

Creating a strong foundation in a young person’s life doesn’t have to be difficult or overwhelming. Taking time, remaining patient, and giving a whole lot of love and caring will take you far. For most young people, their family is the center of their lives. Show your children you love them, and also value each one of them as individuals. Clearly communicate to one another your family’s values, boundaries, and expectations (as well as those of the community). Provide constructive, enriching opportunities for growth through creative activities, youth programs, and quality time at home. Give young people the appropriate amount of freedom to make their own decisions depending on their ages, but also offer options along the way.

The next time someone asks “How are you?” my hope is that you will think of the Masai’s traditional greeting “Kasserian ingera?- How are the children” instead. All may not be well with our children but it can get better. Change is possible, and the power rests in the people and places of community that join together to embrace, invest in, and engage with young people as resources and gifts. Perhaps someday we will be able to answer their greeting with “Sapati ingera – All the children are well.”

Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

Assets

23.09.2008 08:21:35

clare

Are you concerned about your own kids, your neighbors’ kids, students in your classrooms, the youth in your congregation and youth in general? What if I told you the secret to raising happy, healthy, and responsible adults isn’t really a secret at all. It is simply stated all about building relationships, connecting with young people: Get to know them, talk to them, understand them, and help them. Supportive and caring adults are the key to positive change for youth. When the people and places of the community make a commitment to join together to embrace, invest in and engage with youth as both gifts and resources for today and into the future change happens. All kids are our kids…today is the day for change.

Here are the facts

Research from Search Institute identifies 40 Developmental Assets that all young people need in their lives to succeed. The higher number of assets in children or teenagers lives, the fewer risky behaviors exhibited and the more likely they are to make wise decisions, choose positive paths, grow up competent, caring and responsible. Unfortunately according to Search Institute surveys the average young person has only 18 assets out of the 40 assets identified. The exciting news is anyone can build assets! It costs nothing, is not radical, experimental or theological.

Understanding Developmental Assets

The eight asset categories Search Institute has found crucial in helping young people grow up healthy include:

• Support: Young people need to be surrounded by people who love, care for, appreciate, and accept them.
• Empowerment: Young people need to feel valued and valuable. This happens when youth feel safe and respected.
• Boundaries and Expectations: Young people need clear rules, consistent consequences for breaking rules, and encouragement to do their best.
• Constructive Use of Time: Young people need opportunities—outside of school—to learn and develop new skills and interests with other youth and adults.
• Commitment to Learning: Young people need a sense of the lasting importance of learning and a belief in their own abilities.
• Positive Values: Young people need to develop strong guiding values to help them make healthy life choices.
• Social Competencies: Young people need the skills to interact effectively with others, to make difficult decisions, and to cope with new situations.
• Positive Identity: Young people need to believe in their own self-worth and to feel they have control over the things that happen to them.

Tips for building assets

Home/family: Regularly do things with your children.

Neighborhood/community: Learn the names of youth neighbors.

School/youth program: Plan asset-building activities as part of the curriculum/program.

Want to know more about the 40 Developmental Assets and ideas for helping young people build them? Visit www.search-institute.org/assets.

This article was written by Allison Heidorn, ASAP Project Assistant.

Assets